Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Missouri in Thirty: Day #2

Day #2: Freudenberger Dorms
these dorms were my first official place of residence upon my arrival in missouri.
the first day was of course memorable:

the huuuge ice storm had just hit in Springfield, Missouri- and it was certainly an interesting welcome into the state. most of the trees were split in half; ice weighing heavily on their branches. people were scrambling to fill up with gas like the end of the world was coming, school was shut down for a week. i had just been dropped off, suitcase in hand, by my sort-of, sort-of-not, 'boyfriend' at the time (who interestingly enough, was the reason that i came to missouri).

i checked into the front counter, got my door and mail key, and wheeled the ol suitcase past the ping pong table, past the workout room, past the community kitchen, turned a corner to the right, past a stairwell- until i came to a large wooden door that read, "Welcome, Brittany!"
moving in the middle of the semester was already terrifying. but once i stood, solitary, in the middle of a gigantic room with two beds and apparently no other roommate- i was strikingly terrified. i was alone. completely, 2,000 miles-ly away alone. the only other soul, aside the one who had just drove away, that i knew was in the same city but a different school. it took knocking on random doors, and answering random knocks on my door for a few weeks before i could finally say those girls were my friends.

and then, came college dorm life:

horrifying dorm food that i learned to love. nail polish, hairspray, police costumes, quarters, a movie to borrow, a friend to go to the store with, comfort even if there wasn't any real advice to be given- it was all just two door knocks away. i heard the words, "don't knock! just come in," all the time, which i wasn't used to. trying desperately to get from the machine! the cold wind that literally squeezed the life right out of me on the way to class. celebrating all our birthdays on the same day. walking around downtown with someone new. driving 'home' and questioning everything. staying up til 5 A.M. with everyone, watching Jared Leto movies. my minimum of eight messages a day to keely when we would talk about each and every aspect of all things. studying all night instead of all semester. our dorm janitor cleaning the bathroom everyday, BLARING "Enter Sandman". going to my first hockey game. wondering what it would be like to live in Springfield forever. watching movies on brenna and brandy's floor because that was the only place to lay. :) slaving over a paper, hours before it's due. runs/walks and screaming profanities at the sky with Jessica. laying on my bed every night, on the phone, my cheeks and stomach crippling from laughter. laying on the same bed, on the same phone, holding my breath so that everything wouldn't hurt so bad.

the possibility of something new! starting over! the availability of something new. new faces. the most amazing salads ever consumed. driving around Springfield, on gangsta nights. turning up the a/c, wearing scarves and drinking apple cider, and watching a movie with a sweet person.
big, nasty, scary thunderstorms! the tornado that we hid from that one, terrifying night.

learning to confront things, head-on. baby steps. watching my old life fade inside of myself. shaking off things that hurt, and embracing things that didn't. protecting what i had left. conserving my energy for things worth fighting for.

sleepovers with keely in my dorm. her first night of freedom! our trips to entertainmart.
parking tickets.
searching endlessly for my "access card" so i could get into the damn bathroom to pee.
just in general, dining out with keely.
learning what Thursday nights were apparently for.
late night Domino's or Chinese food binges.
and pictures that can, hopefully, do these types of things justice:

and of course, Grandma Pants.

i asked for the dorm life. and i certainly got it.

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